Hope and Overcoming

Posted on April 15, 2012 by federicofroscampelo

While the warehouses of three ‘escolas de samba’ (samba schools) were in flames –on the first days of February last year, in Rio de Janeiro-, their members and fans were in tears. Their crying, however, was not enough to put out the fire: Portela, Uniao da Ilha and Grande Rio saw how their costumes and floats got decimated and burned down. In a huge supporting gesture after the accident, several other escolas financially assisted those affected; and also lent them resources so that they could partially rebuild the ‘allegories’. The Escolas-de-samba League cooperatively allowed them to parade anyway, no matter the condition they might be able to reach by the beginnings of march (date of the 2011 carnival).

Yet, when the time came for Grande Rio to parade, adversities seemed not to have ceased. As they had to perform under torrential rain, their dancers slipped a couple of times and hit hard on the wet floor (sprains included). Continue reading →

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Bullies to school

Posted on December 2, 2011 by federicofroscampelo

          Last week news got filled with headlines such as these: (articles linked)

<<He was hit for being fat, then video uploaded in the web>>

<<More school violence: now girl hit for being pretty>>

          In these cases, school bullies went too far. But this kind of things happens every day among kids and teenagers. Some opinions hold that the matter is children’s stuff, and the problem only truly arises if it spreads to young adults. However, lying behind these headlines we find a teen kicked and elbowed who ended up down on the floor –while several others enjoyed filming in round- and also a girl with a broken tooth and an injured lip who fainted after perceiving her own bleeding. Where is the thin line that separates harmless children’s stuff from irreversible hurting? Including, of course, emotional damage: not just limited to immediate humiliation but also comprising the condition of remaining internally ‘vulnerable’, ‘undervalued’ and with a whole repertoire of anticipatory fears.

          Knowing how social conditioning imprints in our brain wiring (yes, we literally talk about changes in the way neurons connect), it is somehow a crime to emotionally abuse somebody or to subject them to any kind of moral harassment. Because, in fact, it promotes a lasting feeling of scorn within that person. It leads to a self-image of inferiority or helplessness (even stronger in young human beings, since they have a more ‘plastic’ brain). That imprint generates in the long run a self-model of identity that later in life discourages self-esteem and strengths. As Swiss François Ansermet and Pierre Magistretti would say, we are talking about a self-restricting <<synaptic footprint>> here.

          But on the other hand, there is another modern knowledge counterbalancing the previous argument. Continue reading →

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“Acceptance is fundamental” – Conversation with Ludmila Marcote

Posted on November 21, 2011 by federicofroscampelo

They say that when you are already aged and look back, you can tell how worth your life is by the experiences you have had. That’s what we can take along with us. It’s about that which remains inside. Material things vanished behind our path. So, why not making sure of having beneficial experiences and emotions until the very last moment?

          That’s precisely what Ludmila Marcote came up with. She –together with her partner Lucía Rebagliati- decided to start up En Compañía. A company which promotes the well-being of <<those above 60>> through integration, fun and other activities. It takes into account the quality of life of the elderly in our society.

          Moreover, Ludmila and Lucía were awarded with Buenos Aires Emprende 2010. Evidence of a very particular talent to integrate vocation with a sustainable solution. Model for the aspiration of many young people, Ludmila -29 years old- is already her own boss and works on what she loves.

          This convergence is not minor, and that’s why we treated matters such as: the fear of admitting oneself as aged (age-denial), the effort of entrepreneurship, empathy and emotional contagion, loneliness, the need of being useful. And a brain which is still active and neuroplastic even when old.

          Ludmila has the exactly balanced character to promote the bond that conciliates two different generations… separated by two generations of age.

 

- Your role is observed by two very different clusters, evidence of the two fundamental aspects of your job. One cluster is the elderly. And the other one is the niche of young people willing to be entrepreneurs or already on their way to it. Those who don’t want to be employees; instead, their own bosses. Where do you place your largest effort? In entrepreneurship or in the aged?

[Ludmila] – It’s a balance of both. I weigh them constantly. Continue reading →

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Contemporary anxiety

Posted on November 4, 2011 by federicofroscampelo

          If we list our most frequent emotions, we will surely find anxiety in our top-ten. And I bet that many people have it falling under their top-5, though they might not be aware (due to how used we are to it!).

          No one could depict it better than Nik with his Gaturro, so this time he gets the picture-of-the-day award. Endemic anxiety is clearly a contemporary phenomenon. Not that our early ancestors hadn´t felt it –let us not forget that emotions bear an evolutionary ground and have been developing with their variations along tens of thousands of years in our species. But the reasons for anxiety have become more than abundant in the last couple of centuries.

          Can we recognize any pattern in the mechanism of anxiety, or is it that each one of us gets affected in an absolutely particular way? The truth is the answer goes: both. And that’s not playing with words. In fact, each one of us will feel this emotion depending on the circumstances in which we are immersed (as Ortega y Gasset accurately used to say, “I am I and my circumstance”). Anyway, patterns can be noticed; kind of ‘macro’ themes. Deep down these core themes can be explained by certain <<quality>> of stimuli. They are the ones that, decoded by our mind, act as very precise triggers to start the internal mechanism that turns us anxious.

          Paying attention to several issues simultaneously, running from one place to another, not getting on time, not making ends meet, deadlines, multiple demands at once… All these drive us towards anxiety. But beneath this chaotic foam, identifiable triggers underlie.

          The trigger par excellence is related to that feeling of wanting things <<RIGHT NOW>>. And thanks to it, we can begin to explore the mechanism: Continue reading →

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“If you control expectations, you control emotions” – Conversation with Mr. Li Zhuming

Posted on September 17, 2011 by federicofroscampelo

Emotions are an essential aspect of management, for sure. Particularly in high level positions, such as the one held by Mr. Li Zhuming, who has performed as CEO of Huawei in Argentina for the last five years. Jim, as he is also called, led the fastest growing vendor of telecommunications in the country -and also in the world.

So, what does this leader think (and feel) of emotions when it comes to merging two apparently separate cultures –Chinese and Argentinean? Which were the main motivational challenges given the current Argentina scenario?

Jim, with a calm and thoughtful personality, shows that he thinks twice before opening his mouth. Wisely, he delivers clear messages and drops no extra words in his speech. Being a good listener is an obvious feature in his character too. Jim strongly believes emotions at work are very important.

Apart from the issues above, we talked about learning to control our emotions, making decisions, cultural differences between Chinese and Western methodologies, and even medicine and some philosophy of life.

Jim also revealed himself as a deep connoisseur of the I-Ching book, the bible of change, which also led to a wonderful off-the-record discussion about the different stages in life and the patterns of permanent mutation in nature.

Thanks, Jim, for the inspiration!

 

- Is there a specific emotional difference between Chinese and Argentinean people?

[Jim] – No, there’s not a difference due to nationality. It depends on the background of the person, on his/her experience and character, not on their nationality. Continue reading →

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Secret vote and private emotions

Posted on September 17, 2011 by federicofroscampelo

          The hot topic of August: primary election, of course. I mean, the result of it. The final count of the votes surprised even the ruling party itself, whose expectations were only getting 40% to consolidate towards the major election in October. The point is, before Sunday 14th, although you could still hear conflicting opinions, many comments in bars, offices, gyms and meetings with friends spun around <<I wouldn’t ever vote Cristina>>.

What happened then? The purpose here is neither to take sides about the result, nor to promote or criticize anybody. What is interesting about this situation is that once again we find a cliché that rings the bell to all of us. I’m talking about the one which goes <<I didn’t vote him (HER)>>. This deserves our attention.

The phenomenon <<I-didn’t-vote-him>> is by no means a deviation of the Argentinean psyche, for those at first tempted to reach that conclusion. In fact, it is a rather common response throughout contemporary democratic societies. We can cast an eye, for instance, on the www.yonovoteazp.es wristbands, which claim to exonerate the wearer from the supposed ‘blame’ of having contributed to take Zapatero to the Spanish government.

I would like to venture an explanation resourcing to the <<Johari Window>>, which I used precisely a few days ago in a seminar, and to its <<Secret>> quadrant. Conceived in the ’50s by the Americans Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham, it matches what we perceive and know of ourselves with what the others see of us.

The best case is that in which we and the others both share the same opinion about ourselves: no dark areas. We can link confidently –or simply decide not to do so- because we are clear on each part’s attributes. But, what happens in the <<Secret>> zone? It is there where we are aware of personal features that others ignore … and in fact we try it to be so. That’s the environment of our private life, contributing to our individuality, which we safeguard in order not to feel vulnerable.

The most apish and funny example comes naturally: we don’t want anybody to see what we do sitting in the toilet or when singing in the shower. Continue reading →

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About roses, foxes, puppies and humans

Posted on July 23, 2011 by federicofroscampelo

          A couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine bought a puppy. She had been longing for it for quite a while; more than two years, in fact. She waited until now to make it happen, since she will have a few more hours a day to take care of the animal. The good thing is she found what she wanted: a maltese female, small and perfect for a downtown apartment: it does not take up too much room, neither does it bark loudly, nor does it get things too messy.

          Now, of course, she is crazy about the puppy… She loves it and takes care of it proudly. She wouldn’t change it for anything else. She chose it -let’s say- ‘definitely’. And that’s the big point to reflect on. How does a relationship begin? Making the matter extensive to humans, which is the precise instant in which we select someone to connect with? In many cases, we indeed make a ‘definite’ choice… (no matter the relationship then not lasting a lifetime). And although in other cases the decision is not ‘definite’, it’s still a choice anyway.

          There is a delicate moment in which the puppy is no longer a hope and becomes the reality that we prefer above any other pet of its kind. We all like puppies, but ‘like’ is an understatement if that puppy is ours. It probably happened in the kennel when my friend identified one individual in particular among the whole group, without precisely knowing what motivated her to do so. Or it probably took place when the vet arbitrarily placed in her arms that furry ball that goes <<wooif>>… and that one became inexorably irresistible. How to make another choice? How to think on another one?

          In a sublime metaphor about human relationships, Antoine de Saint-Exupéry approached the matter with the following words: Continue reading →

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The delicate balance: between belonging and individuality

Posted on July 18, 2011 by federicofroscampelo

          Human beings are innately social. We are made to connect with each other, something that social psychologists call <<eagerness to affiliate>>. Except for cases such as autism and very few people with characters prone to ostracism -anomalies-, we all look forward to bonding. Because, in fact, we need it. We are internally ‘wired’ for that.

          However, such inclination to have friends, to build relationships and to socialize coexists with other kind of motivations. Once we are included in a certain group, for instance, we may seek standing out within it. The friend who always arranges parties, the most energetic player in the team, the most ambitious employee of the department, the cousin who always acts up in family meetings…

          One of the most intriguing alternative motivations -when it comes to fulfilling that drive to relate with others- consists in a concern (not minor at all) to keep a certain distance from the demands that surge in any relationship. Anthropologist Michael Wesch holds that people crave both connection and freedom. Such dichotomy generates a tension that leads us to sometimes open up… and close off in other occasions. As Sep Kamvar and Jonathan Harris highlight (authors of We Feel Fine) we are frequently torn between building relationships and maintaining freedom from the constraints that those relationships impose.

          This might be, in terms of relationship dynamics, one of the hardest challenges of our modern life. We must surely know that girl who went through a lot of pain to seduce her boyfriend but nowadays has strong arguments with him about preserving her personal space. Or that guy who is not able to conciliate work with social life. None of these people are inconsistent. It is just that, as everyone, they face a particular unease derived from the internal conflict of interests. Continue reading →

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About deservingness

Posted on June 27, 2011 by federicofroscampelo

          And since in the previous post we talked about forced happiness as an advertising resource and a social paradigm, let’s approach here another issue –not less controversial. The culture of false deservingness.

          I walk along the street and I see a huge sign of a beverage claiming: <<the taste you deserve>>. Then I open the newspaper and I read this big ad on mattresses: <<get the rest you deserve>>. And so my mind starts to relate all those messages which apparently remain hidden but in fact consolidate a concrete pattern in our way of thinking. Certain political propaganda: <<the change you deserve>>. A department store announcing their new clothes collection: <<Pamper yourself. You deserve it>>. A brand new apartment building: <<the luxury you deserve>>…

          I imagine the comic strips of Quino, and his Mafalda suddenly screaming… Stop it! Do I really deserve so many things? If so, why can’t I have them all at once right now?

          That’s exactly the problem. And, again, it is not limited to advertising. There is a whole culture of false deservingness in which easy access to pleasures and goods (and even worse: to achievements and rewards as well) is unrestrictedly promoted. As though we had done the necessary and right things to get them. The truth is sometimes I feel pretty uncomfortable to realize motivational speakers and self-help authors restlessly brainwash people’s heads about: <<harvest the success you deserve>>. Does really everybody deserve ‘success’? Continue reading →

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The demand of happiness

Posted on June 26, 2011 by federicofroscampelo
“the happiness factory”

          Suddenly we are aware that a very particular kind of advertising has spread all around us. It appeals to happiness as a lifestyle, ‘accessible’ through the consumption of certain products. This kind of advertising threatens to become as copious as the eroticism and the almost-naked bodies that have been used for years in jeans and perfumes. Which products are associable to a good mood spirit, to emotional welfare and to the fact of allowing ourselves joyful episodes within a life full of demands? Those in mass consumption, food and beverages, of course.

“let’s spread laughter”

          Some weeks ago Clarín published a very good article analyzing the phenomenon: Coca-Cola with its “happiness factory”, Beldent with its “let’s spread laughter” and the already popular <<Riquelme is happy>> are just some examples.

          Overstimulation on happiness, however, is not exclusive of advertising. This is only the tip of the iceberg. The issue is truly deeper. Advertising industry is lately seeking solid grounds, and what else can be better than science for that matter? (Haven’t we seen that commercials have also filled with anti-bacteria analyses, proteins and physiological effects in the body?) As for this new trend, advertising is supported on another wave –not minor at all- of disciplines that have recently resourced to study happiness, such as Economics and ‘positive’ Psychology. We only have to cast an eye on the cover of Time magazine (6th June) to understand that optimism science is ‘in fashion’. The wave becomes tsunami as we see the tons of self-help books that have appeared as fungi for the last ten years, promoting a life in which we must be happy.

          So, what in the beginning might have stood for a way out –inspiring us to think positive and live with a smile- ends up establishing a new social demand. A whole new trend of thought regulates positivism. Not feeling happy begins to be wrong. Not thinking positive begins to be socially objectable. Not feeling good all the time seems to show there is something weird with us. Continue reading →

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